Me: Ugh, why isn't my pizza done yet?
Mom: It's been in for three minutes. Just wait.
Me: I DID MY WAITING!
Mom: Oh, god, not again.
Me: TWELVE YEARS OF IT!
Mom: Every time.
Me: IN AZKABAN!
normal guys playing video games with their gf: okay, now press up. No. Up. Up. You know what, just let me play.
pewdiepie playing video games with marzia: INTO THE FOREST, GIRL!
applecorr: oh my god there’s a mr. potato head that’s outfitted like iron man and they call him tony starch i can’t
mechinism: brothasoul: can we all just take a minute to imagine steve rogers’ face the first time he heard someone say “motherfucker” casually
Pewdie: Don't do drugs
Pewdie: Not even if it's free
Pewdie: I know it sounds like a good deal but
starkpower: untilifindtheperfectgirl: phenste: carly rae jepsen is older than lady gaga let that sink in i thought she was 13 andrew garfield is older than chris hemsworth where is your god now
When someone checks you out
xxcoolstorybroxx: Normal people: My reaction:
How I introduce my pets to people →
tumblegags: touch it this blog is hilarious
iamjonwanker: do you ever just
How I feel in the hallways at school:
jammy-john: paging-doctorfaggot: 314eater: what the fuck happened to shia labeouf he started eating people he looks like jesus. “running for your life from shia lajesus”
Julie: I can only hope they grow into the kind of thoughtful, intelligent young men you've become.
Hazel: He's not that smart.
Augustus: She's right. It's just that most really good-looking people are stupid, so I exceed expectations.
Hazel: Right, it's primarily his hotness.
Augustus: It can be sort of blinding.
Hazel: It actually did blind our friend Issac.
Augustus: Terrible tragedy, that. But can I help my own deadly beauty?
Hazel: You cannot.
Augustus: It is my burden, this beautiful face.
Hazel: Not to mention your body.
Augustus: Seriously, don't get me started on my hot bod. You don't want to see me naked, Dave. Seeing me naked actually took Hazel Grace's breath away.
Patrick Star and John Green have the same happy...
fishingboatproceeds: hiccupsandteacups: Also similar overall body shapes…